Category Archives: Humor
Let’s be honest. You want to hear about how I got my ass kicked. Well, the wait is over.
Let the ass kicking commence.
The first Wipeout Zone consisted of four obstacles:
- “Bowled Over”
- “Spring-o-vator” (Big Balls)
- “Spring Fling”
- “Wipeout Kitchen”
Yesterday I gave the skinny on how I became a contestant on the gameshow Wipeout (back in 2011)… so give it a look see. I’ll wait.
(Cue gameshow waiting music)
Okay, where were we? Oh yes, filming day.
Wipeout is shot at Sable Ranch in Santa Clarita, where they’ve also filmed numerous westerns as well as scenes for “The A-Team” and “24.” Well Hannibal Smith and Jack Bauer were nowhere in sight on this chilly January morning when myself and 23 other contestants rolled into the makeshift parking lot. Now while our show was being filmed to air on the Spring version of Wipeout, we were in the middle of January and it was about 45 degrees outside when we showed up pre-dawn and were hustled into the trailers. And did I mention there was a lot of water there? More on that in a bit.
So as we got ourselves settled, it was natural to size up the competition and I must say the Wipeout gang for Episode 412: “Wizard of Owws” was a rather diverse bunch. About an equal number of men and women varying in age from late teens to mid 5os. And while we were going to be battling against each other in a few hours, the mood was positive and energetic as we said our “Hellos” and exchanged stories about how (and in god’s name why) we wanted to be on the show. A good bunch of people.
Nestled on my iPhone, right between Foursquare and Instagram is a little app I downloaded called “Timehop,” which basically looks at all of your past social media postings to remind you what you were doing on this date over the past few years. Well, Timehop showed me some pictures of what I was up to this week back in 2011. It made me smile, a tad nostalgic and I wanted to share the story with you… serial style (over the next few days).
Don’t worry, it’s not an overly mushy experience. In fact it’s quite funny and you get to read about me getting smashed in the face repeatedly, plunged into freezing water and flung head over heels into a giant mud puddle. Interested?
You see, I was a contestant on the gameshow “Wipeout.”
Yes, that Wipeout.
All rise! Runner’s Court is now back in session.
Yesterday we heard the “Case of the Sacred Shirt,” about whether or not the legacy shirt at the Hollywood Half Marathon was subject to the “Forbidden Shirt” protocol.
Evidence was presented, and solid arguments were made by both the prosecution and defense. Once closing arguments were read, the case was left in the hands of the jury… namely all of you… to decide the outcome.
I’ve tabulated the responses and a verdict has been reached. First let me say that the reader feedback was even better than I could have possibly hoped, with passionate pleas made by both sides that did indeed sway people’s opinions. Read the rest of this entry
This past weekend I ran the Hollywood Half Marathon. I had a great time meeting up with friends before the race and I also PR’d, so a win/win for me.
And like I do with all races, I immerse myself in the whole atmosphere surrounding the event (hence my multiple “Experience” posts that I put up for each race). I came across something interesting before this year’s Hollywood Half Marathon that I think would make a great “beta test” for a hopefully recurring series on Tripping The Kenyans… “Runner’s Court.” This would be where I take a fun “controversial topic” and present it as a mock court case with me as presiding judge. And “No,” I haven’t gone out and bought a judge’s robe… as far as you know. Read the rest of this entry
I have a recurring problem… okay several (Ha Ha), but this one I’m willing to talk about openly.
It’s hats… in particular, baseball hats. Yup, I’m addicted to those wonderfully brimmed beauties that keep the sun and sweat out of our eyes while simultaneously professing our love of a particular team, product or place.
I equate my love of ball caps to that of ladies’ obsession with shoes. I mean how many pairs of black heels can you own? Apparently a boatload. I can certainly relate.
As a little kid I loved to wear the ball caps of my favorite professional teams or whatever little league team I was playing on. And when my dad would go to Asia on business he would bring me back ball caps of Japanese baseball teams (my favorite was the Tokyo Giants). Fortunately, by the time I hit my teens I kind of grew out of them and showed the world my blonde locks uncluttered by headwear.
Then came college.
As a student at the University of Wisconsin (yes, those “Final Four” bound Badgers… woo hoo), my baseball cap addiction reappeared with a vengeance as I started collecting oodles of Wisconsin ball caps. Then when I went onto grad school at Florida State, the collection only got bigger with the addition of FSU hats to my already massive collection of UW hats.
Oh, it gets worse.
“Never say never” I guess is the lesson you should take away from my ramble today. That and I guess we all reserve the right to change our minds.
As you Trippers all know, I’ve been rather vocal about RunDisney’s “slightly inflated” race prices. And to say their race prices are slightly inflated is like saying that ingesting a half dozen Taco Bell bean burritos and washing it down with prune juice might cause “slightly inflated” gastrointestinal distress.
So between work being uber-crazy and constantly watching “March Madness” (Go Badgers) in my peripheral vision, my day has been rather hectic.
But tomorrow morning I’ll be up at the crack of dawn (funny, whenever someone says or I write “crack of dawn” I hear an imaginary rooster crowing in my head… weird). As I was saying, I’ll be up at the crack of dawn (there it is again… sorry) to do double duty on a run. It’s my last long run before the Hollywood Half Marathon on April 5th, but it’s also a training run to stay in marathon shape for the OC Marathon on May 4th. So, I’ll be doing 17 or 18 miles in and around Burbank. No big deal right… I mean I just did 20 & 23 mile training runs with Team To End AIDS back in February. One difference…
I’ll be running solo.
And it’ll be a little weird.
(BTW, how’s that for a nickname for people who like the blog?)
Things are uber-zany at work this week so I only have time for a quick post today.
It’s the writing equivalent of when you don’t have time to get to the grocery store, don’t want to order a pizza and are determined to make dinner from whatever is left in the fridge… in my case a diet coke, some margarine, three types of mustard and some spinach lettuce. Oof.
On any other day of the year, “green” references have to do with being ecologically friendly and helping the planet.
But on March 17th, everything GREEN is about “St. Patrick’s Day.”
From shamrock shakes (yum) to corned beef and cabbage, to four leaf clovers and wearing green (lest we be pinched), one day each year we let our inner-leprechauns run free… and we’re definitely not in search of a marshmallowy breakfast cereal.
In the tradition of getting a little “Luck of the Irish” (which could be considered a euphemism for drinking) I did a pub crawl last night with a twist.
Last night I did my first “pub run.” It will not be my last. Read the rest of this entry
It’s my birthday today. Another year older, another year wiser… or so they say. That remains to be seen.
Birthdays are a big deal to me. I do it up right for my friends, as well as anyone I’m dating. It’s also the only day I unapologetically say, “Feel free to spoil me.” And it’s not because of presents (although those are nice too). To me a birthday represents your day, the one day of the year where everyone gets the chance to remind you that you are special to them. Of course, whether they do or not is another matter.
In 2013, The LA Marathon was run on St. Patrick’s Day, meaning I could go out and party after the race… in theory, anyway.
But as opposed to dancing around a tavern and waving my LA Marathon finisher’s medal screaming “Kiss me, I’m Irish [which I am] and I just ran a friggin’ marathon [which I did],” my St. Patrick’s Day afternoon and evening consisted of me icing my aching feet while sitting on the sofa cradling a McDonald’s “shamrock shake” (I do love those things) and sucking zzzzzs before 9pm.
Erin Go Bragh, indeed.
Also, my birthday falls on March 14th. So, last year my party was smack dab in the middle of taper time. Needless to say it was not an all-night bash involving strippers, clowns, stripper clowns, exploding chickens and various misdemeanors.
This Sunday at the Los Angeles Marathon I plan to yell something as I cross the 25-mile mark.
And no, it’s not “Dear God, kill me now.”
Well, probably not.
Like many other of the 25,000 runners, I’ll be uttering the marathoner’s tributary phrase… “God save the Queen.”
I remember the first time I uttered that phrase at the LA Marathon in 2009; the runner next to me asked why I did that. I would have explained it to them properly, but I was doing my best not to pass out at that particular moment so I could only manage to reply with a mumbled “You just do.” Thinking back, it may have come out as “Grrfgghkl.” I can’t really be sure; I was a little loopy at that point.
But now that I’m not in the midst of a 26.2-mile death march, I can give a slightly longer and less slurred explanation.
Quick, what is your “favorite” number?
Is it lucky number “7” or do you tempt fate and go for “13”? Fans of Douglas Adams opt for “42” while fans of something entirely different sway toward the number “69.” Maybe you like “99” in support of the “The Great One” Wayne Gretzky or “3.14159” because who doesn’t like “pi”? “Mmm, pie…. Ahhh” (in your best Homer Simpson voice).
My favorite number has always been “5.”
Why? Because number 5 was worn by my favorite athlete from when I was a kid… my older brother, Todd. He was a natural athlete, exceling at both soccer and wrestling. As for me when I was little, I was an average athlete at best and always wanted to be more like him.
Yesterday I did a little bit of prep work for Sunday’s LA Marathon.
Did I squeeze in some cardio and core work at the gym?
Did I hit the track for a little bit of speed work?
Negatory, good buddy.
Did I run a few miles at Griffith Park to get an early jump on the week?
That would be “no.”
So, what exactly did I do to start getting myself ready for the 26.2 “Stadium to the Sea” race?
I got a pedicure and manicure.