SONG: “50 Ways to Say Goodbye”

GROUP: Train

ALBUM: California 37 (Released 2012)

BACKGROUND:

In case you were wondering, this is NOT a drive-by.

“How could you leave on Yom Kippur?”… isn’t that a question we’ve all asked ourselves at some point when a relationship split turns ugly? This hilarious and high-energy break-up ballad comes courtesy of the San Francisco-based group Train.

Also known for serious songs like “Meet Virginia” and “Calling All Angels,” Train does have its fair share of more up-beat tunes like “Hey, Soul Sister” which seemed to be featured in virtually every other TV ad a few years ago. I’ve enjoyed Train ever since they first appeared on the national song scene back in 1998.

With the release of their album “California 37” in 2012, Train debuted the fun song “Drive By” which quickly made its way onto my running mix (and multiple car commercials to boot). “50 Ways to Say Goodbye” was the second single from the album and I remember distinctly the first time I heard it. I was in Atlanta, during my 6-month teaching stint, and was driving home following a long run on a hot day. I suddenly heard “mariachi horns” which made me wonder if I had accidentally turned on one of the city’s Latin stations. I was reaching for the radio to change the station when I heard singer Pat Monohan’s distinctive voice pop up.

I was unexpectedly treated to a whimsical musical journey about this poor bastard trying to come to grips with a lost love (although the girl mentioned in the song did sound like a bit of “beeyatch” to be honest). And once the chorus kicked in, I was utterly hooked.

No, not that kind of “train.”

Here he was rattling off a shopping list of the various potential ways his ex had met her untimely end thanks to the hilarious hand of fate… a suntan disaster, death by quicksand, running afoul of a lion and literally dropping dead from dancing. Ha! If only all of our exes were that…. um, lucky.

I must admit my two favorite ways of his true love’s supposed demise were “She met a shark underwater” (anything involving a shark makes me smile) and “…got run over by a crappy purple Scion.” Jeez, talk about a specific mental image and I guess Train won’t be expecting any car endorsements from Scion in the near future.

I love this song because it’s light-hearted, fun and has a really good beat. And let’s be honest, after all of the sappy break-up songs out there, this is a refreshing take on finding oneself staring at their “single” status on Facebook.

My only gripe with this tune is it does claim to be 50 ways to say goodbye, while the song itself delivers less than a dozen. I don’t know whether to claim false advertising or hope that someday Train releases a sequel version with an additional 40 or so ways that your ex shuffles off this mortal coil.

It really is a fun song to run to… oh, and did I mention the video features “The Hoff”?

Enjoy!

VIDEO:

Click on image to play video for “50 Ways to Say Goodbye.”

LYRICS:

My heart is paralyzed
My head was oversized
I’ll take the high road like I should
You said it’s meant to be
That it’s not you, it’s me
You’re leaving now for my own good

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntan
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes! 
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died

My pride still feels the sting
You were my everything
Some day I’ll find a love like yours (a love like yours)
She’ll think I’m Superman
Not super minivan
How could you leave on Yom Kippur?

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes! 
She dried up in the desert
Drowned in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died

I wanna live a thousand lives with you
I wanna be the one you’re dying to
Love… but you don’t want to

That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say
That’s cool, but if my friends ask where you are I’m gonna say

She went down in an airplane
Fried getting suntan
Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes! 
She met a shark under water
Fell and no one caught her
I returned everything I ever bought her
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies

She was caught in a mudslide
Eaten by a lion
Got run over by a crappy purple Scion
Help me, help me, I’m no good at goodbyes! 
She dried up in the desert
Drown in a hot tub
Danced to death at an east side night club
Help me, help me, I’m all out of lies
And ways to say you died

OTHER GOOD RUNNING SONGS BY TRAIN:

• “Drive By”
• “Hey, Soul Sister”

Crank it to 11… Have a great Memorial Day Weekend and Run on!

(Be sure to send me songs that you thing would make good additions to a running mix)